i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
