is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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