How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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