tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
