Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
