I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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