I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
