I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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