Do you still have your period?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize