I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
