I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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