Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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