mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Randomize
