i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
