wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
