If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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