The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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