they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
