this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize