I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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