The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
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Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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