Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
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figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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