that's an acceptable place to lick
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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