wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize