Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
