Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize