is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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