New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I would fuck him just for his dog
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
