I wanna passion pit in your ass
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
