so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Still dying that you shit outside
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
