And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Couch. On fire.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
