I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
