I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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