Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
