well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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