I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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