I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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