And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
