are you still at the devil's house?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
