So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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