Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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