I just made out with a guy for $7.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
