whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
