he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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