U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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