I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
