I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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