so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
