dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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