I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
