I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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