i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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