so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
