discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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