Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
