Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize