I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
