So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize
