My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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