That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
