I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
