He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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